After the surgeries not good news..

Well me and my husband came back for the UK and were taking both dogs to surgery within days of our return. I am not sure what to think at this moment because my younger boxer Sydney had a tumor in his testicle which was making his nipples change shape which is how I recognised a problem. But what i didn't figure on was the strange bump about the size of a thumbnail that appeared under his chin. It was hard as a rock and did not move. It bleed all over my shirt one night when he leaned up and hug me. The vet said it was cancerous and so the sample was sent to a pathology lab. I hope to God it is not something rampaging through his entire body. I've spent so much time trying to save beebers my little guy has taken a back seat and I feel horrible with guilt. I assumed...a dangerous thing to do. That Sydney would be around years after Beebs had passed away. I never counted on a cancer diagnosis especially in such a young (9) gorgeous dog. Oh boy...I am so mad at myself. I'm now giving him the full treatment and Mr Beebs is getting pissed off and acting like a spoiled child ramming into poor Sydney. Too bad.For 2 and 1/2 years I've pulled out all the stops for the beebs and now his son may be very ill. I hope I don't have any tough decisions ahead of me...although denial suits me very well at this moment. My only sister was just told her cancer is back and its in her liver. I'm going to go kiss my dogs and go take a walk to the beach and try and draw some peace from nature.